Well, after much prayer and research, I have decided to go ahead with the mastectomy and reconstruction. I have been very anxious and stressed about it. I really don't want to do it, but I feel like that is the direction I am being led. I just have to trust that my God is big enough to get me through this and hold me in His hands each step of the way. My surgery date is April 20th at 8am. The surgery will last for about 4 and a half hours. During that surgery after the mastectomy, the plastic surgeon will put in the expanders. I will be in the hospital for 2-3 nights. I will go home with drains attached to me to drain the extra fluid. You have to empty them twice a day. I will have these for about a week. After I have about 3 weeks of healing at home, I will go in once a week for a few months for them to inject saline into the expanders to start stretching the skin. The expanders can be very uncomfortable or painful for some people, so I am very nervous about that. Pray that they are not too uncomfortable for me! After that process is complete, I will have another surgery to place the implants. There is also a chance I would have to have another surgery after that to correct any problems with the implants. So, by the end of this, I will have had 5-6 surgeries in just one year! That's crazy! Also, implants do not last a life time, so I will have to have at least a couple of additional surgeries in my life to exchange the implants or to correct any problems they might have. I really don't mean to sound like I'm complaining (which I am!:) )
I know that my God is bigger than this cancer, bigger than these surgeries and bigger than anything I will ever have to face! And I know that my God loves me more than I could ever imagine. Thank you God for allowing them to find this cancer early and for saving my life. Thank you for allowing me to find out about this gene mutation so that I could possibly spare myself and my family of even harder times in the future. Thank you for allowing me to live and see my children grow up. Thank you for loving us beyond comprehension. Thank you that when it is my time to go some day, that I get to spend eternity with you. (later than sooner would be great though!)
Amen
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I can't imagine how I would feel facing this. Your faith is amazing and truly is your anchor. I can see that! I'll be praying that you can still feel its strength as these days come. I love you sis!
ReplyDeleteI heard something today that I know is so true. Even the obstacle that is greatest before you is an opportunity for you to know God even deeper and to see His name glorified on your behalf. I will continue to be in prayer for you as you bravely face the coming months. You will be amazed at the strength and the peace that God will give you.
ReplyDeleteSomeone passed this along to me today and I thought I'd share. . .
ReplyDeleteA daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.
Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."
"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
"Yuck" says her daughter.
"How about a couple raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!"
"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Mom, those are all gross!"
To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake! "
God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!
God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.
Love you!
Demi